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Have you ever read something that made you feel guilty? I did, today.
It was a post by my friend Tshaka Armstrong at Digital Shepherds. I wanted to share it with you because as a mother to a 10 & 12 year old, I find myself caving in on some digital decisions. Digital Parenting is still new and parents are learning together. We need each others help, support and sometimes, just a reminder. So, I want to thank Tshaka for this reminder.
In addition, thank you for all you do in educating students and parents on internet safety. Digital Shepherds is meeting the real needs of parents by teaching them how to protect their family with hands on workshops. You share your knowledge, research and experiences with your followers and collaborate with other internet safety advocates. I am appreciative of all you do.
Take A Stand Mom and Dad! You are the Gatekeepers
By Tshaka Armstrong
Thought I’d start off the day with a little rant. Consider yourself warned!
We’re working on partnering with local retail video game stores to bring our live demo lecture to the parents who patronize them and while speaking with a manager today, he told me something which didn’t surprise me but did inspire me to write this post. I was telling him about how as part of our Parenting in the Digital Age program, not only do we do a live demo of setting up parental controls on the PS3/Xbox360/Wii, but we also speak to parents about some of the “gotchas” of video games like downloadable content (DLC) and online gaming as well as provide them with some sensible parenting tips on setting proper boundaries with their little gamers and when I finished he proceeded to tell me how needed that was because, often, he gets parents in his store who go to buy games which clearly aren’t appropriate for their children’s age. I know a lot of the time this is due to parents just not knowing, but what he said got under my skin a little, I must admit. He told me that a lot of the time, the parents actually ARE aware of what’s in the game as he reminds them of the ESRB rating but they simply dismiss it as, “Well, he’s going to play it somewhere else anyway.” I thought to myself, “Really? Wow.”
Which brings us to the image of the Roman Legionnaire, who in Western culture is often associated with being a “gatekeeper.” I know that sometimes, with the sheer glut of information and technology and new potential problems we parents have to deal with it can all seem overwhelming sometimes, but if we decide to take a stand, be the gatekeeper (even if it means being the lone gatekeeper in our sphere of influence) and not let our younger children play games which they may not be old enough to “digest” yet, then others may follow. If more of us decided to wait until what we let our children play was age appropriate, there would be fewer houses for our children to go to to “just play it somewhere else.” This is where my favorite adage, “it takes a village to raise a child comes into play.” If we all circle the wagons, we stand the best chance of standing against whatever we deem a threat. If we all take the attitude that it won’t matter then anything can enter and take us apart. I guess that’s part of the problem though is that far too often we don’t think something is a threat until it’s too late. We don’t arm ourselves with information until a problem is already, well, a problem. We as a society fail time and again when it comes to preventive maintenance. Just ask my wife how hard it is to get me to a doctor sometimes. 
Now, I’m not saying that you should have my morals. Or that you should live by anyone else’s but those you’ve established for your own family but when I sit and talk to most parents, there are generally some very universal concepts most of us can agree on. Some of these ultra-violent and very realistic first person shooters can be a little much for young gamers (I’m talking 9-11yr olds) and yet people still buy them. Games like Grand Theft Auto are still being purchased by some parents for younger children. Boys have such a strength in them and what we expose them to when they’re young will shape so much of how they will exercise that strength over their peers. Will we shape them to be overly aggressive and objectify women by allowing so much media into their lives which enforces caveman behavior through poor celebrity “role models” and constant gaming immersion or will we help them find that their strength is to create and build instead of destroy. Don’t throw in the towel or “cop out” mom and dad. Your children are depending on you!
Yeah, this is coming off “ranty” and I know it. Just had to blow off some steam on that one.
Thanks for listening/reading.
Tshaka Armstrong
Tshaka Armstrong Digital Shepherds
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Growing up in the world is not what it used to be. When we were kids, our parents let us play more or less how we wanted to, because they knew what we were doing and who are friends were. However, with the advent of the Internet, we are no longer privy to such information. When our children play online, they could be spending time interacting with identity thieves, bullies or at the worst perverts and rapists. Due to the fact that identity on the Internet is so fluid, we have no idea what our kids are getting up to when they are online. This is why it is important to teach your children how to defend themselves on the Internet at an early age. Taking the Internet seriously is important for you and your children, and you owe it to them to help them understand how to handle themselves online.
